i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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