So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
