i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
