so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
