Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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