He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
