Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
