he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is the high leading the old right now
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize