I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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