Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
