So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
