I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
