If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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