All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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