Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
