I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
