so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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