Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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