I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
