PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize