How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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