don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
