we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
