He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
