we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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