I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
