OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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