why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
