He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Semen is not good for contacts.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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