I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you would pick up someone in the library
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
