I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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