This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
lol hangovers are for mortals.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
