we have officially lost it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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