So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Please, let me fuck your mom
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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