I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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