it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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