oh god the rape fog is back!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
