You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
