Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
