She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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