This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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