My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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