Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize