Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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