Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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