Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
