Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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