hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
