2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
