I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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