Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
