Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
