so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
