i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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