my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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