Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
