I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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