Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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