Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Randomize
