uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
