I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
